Words of advice for aspiring (wine) writers

"I am sometimes asked if I have any words of advice for young people. Well, here are a few simple admonitions for young and old."

It's been 10 years since I jacked in my job as head of publicity at a small publisher in Bloomsbury to become a freelance writer. A couple of months after I left, Oneworld won the Booker Prize with A Brief History of Seven Killings by Marlon James so I missed out on what would have been the pinnacle of my career up to that point. The following year, they won it again with Paul Beatty's The Sellout. You could say my timing could have been better.

I had been writing semi-professionally for ten years before that, doing book reviews for the Daily Telegraph under the nom de plume Henry Castiglione, contributing to the much-missed London Review of Breakfasts under the name Blake Pudding and later writing about drink under my own name.

At the time I went freelance I had weekly columns in The Lady and the Guardian. Almost as soon as I gave up my day job, editors at both publications got in touch to say my services would no longer be required. Actually, The Lady editor, Sam Taylor, emailed to say "Why are you still submitting columns? You have been fired. Have I not told you already?" Which shows how important I was to the magazine.

Somehow, however, I have just about managed to keep my head above water since then. I've published four books, written hundreds of articles, co-hosted a podcast, appeared on TV and radio and given dozens of speeches and presentations. I am going to write something fuller on the economics of my chosen career soon. But meanwhile, in the spirit of William S. Burroughs, I thought I would share some of the wisdom I have accumulated over the years. Though these are aimed at people in the drinks world, many are applicable to writers in general.

Don't do it. Seriously. Do not become a writer, least of all a drinks writer. There's no money in it. The pie is getting smaller every year and to be honest, I don't need the competition. Become a plumber, make some money, buy some wine and then maybe when you've paid off your mortgage, decide to dabble in writing.

Start young, If you insist on ignoring rule number one. Get lots of experience, go on every possible press trip you can before you have a family.

Marry someone sober. This is very important. Most people in the drinks business are in it because we like drinking. Sure there's all the stuff about storytelling etc but really it's about the love of alcohol. If you partner up with someone with similar proclivities then it's a recipe for disaster.

Marry someone rich. Or be born into a rich family. See number one.

Try not to get too caught up in the latest thing – whatever that might be.

Don't be precious. You you will have to write a lot of ephemeral trend stuff about orange being the new pink or Spain being the new France, or something. If it pays, do it.

Go to parties, launches, events and talk to as many people as possible. My best paid long-term job came from chatting with a magazine editor at the opening of a wine bar.

Make friends, find some older people in the business and listen to them, flatter them. I've had a number of mentor figures in my time and they have been invaluable.

Make enemies. You will make enemies sometimes without quite knowing why. I say lean into this, hold grudges, conduct bizarre feuds. It would be a really boring world if we all just got along.

Don’t be rude to the PR ladies, or gentlemen.

Ask lots of questions, even if you think they are stupid ones, but make sure you listen to the answer.

Enter writing competitions, enter every competition you are qualified for and some you aren't.

Develop a speciality. I came to this one very late as a generalist but it's really helpful to be the person who knows about mezcal or the wines of Slovenia.

But also write about things you don't know a lot about. Sometimes an outsider's perspective is useful.

Speak a foreign language. Or at least speak terrible vineyard French like I do.

Read widely. Do read your fellow wine writers but most of all read novels, histories and best of all old wine books. The latter will give you some perspective on all the things that are going on now which others will think of as unique but actually have some precedent.

Get off social media and get out there – talk to winemakers, other writers, taxi drivers. Phone people rather than joining in a circular argument between Robert Joseph and Jamie Goode.

Don't be afraid to write about yourself – this needs care because you don't want to come across as a solipsist but personal anecdotes are useful especially in the age of AI-generated slop. This will help you stand out.

Get a journalist qualification. I don't have one but I think it would have really helped. Also spending time on a newspaper is invaluable. Some of the best writers spent time on local papers.

Deliver on time and to word count - people will love you for it. Simply being low-maintenance and not whingey will get you far¹.

Work in the trade. I learned an incredible amount about whisky and retail when I worked part time at Master of Malt.

Learn to speak in public, on video and on air. This is something I hated doing when I started out but it's increasingly important so get plenty of practice.

Write some non-wine stuff even if they're just personal essays.

Edit – so many writers brought up online don't edit their work. Even better get someone else to edit your work like my wife has done for 15 years. Again a background in proper journalism helps. Nothing sharpens the mind like having to turn around a 500-word story in an hour.

Disregard all of the above and do it your own way.

1. Suggested by Alice Lascelles.